What happened between my father and I was between my father and I.
As parents we try to protect our children as much as possible, but really I was just trying to protect myself. That is right I hand to admit that to myself . I was protecting myself from being abandoned again. I did not want that feeling of not being worthy again. It is amazing that you can go your whole life trying to be considered special by those that gave you life. That may be the reason I try so hard to make sure my children always know that they are special to me. I try to be at as many events as possible. I try to kiss them at night, give them back rubs or scratch when they need it, tickle (say Uncle - say Uncle) sessions, play in the backyard, make a bootleg volleyball field in the backyard -just because, and teach them. I will say that my father did teach me a lesson as a kid. He did teach me what not to do to my kids. Isn't that really the job of a parent. Teach your child? I would like to say "I prayed on it", but that would not be true. I am still growing in that area as well (another story for another day). Fast forward to me putting aside my male ego, pain, and shame. I agreed to allow my father and children to spend some time together by going to the local movie theater (of course with some coaching by my wife). I resolved within myself that if he (my father) would do right by my children then I would give him a pass on the past. I would wipe away all painful feelings and begin again. However, if he made them feel incomplete in anyway, bump what wifey has to say it would be on. So the day approached when my father and daughters went to the movies. Stay tuned for the final part 4 tomorrow the conclusion of bleeding on the blog.