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Feb 25, 2020

How to Handle a Child Custody Agreement After a Divorce

Thank you so much Joseph Freeman for this guest post

If you are going through a divorce right now then I know just what you are going through and although this is a really tough time for you, things will get better. This time 4 years ago I was sat with a Sydney family lawyer talking through my options, as my wife and I were getting divorced. Even if things are amiable now, if there are kids involved then it is going to get worse before it gets better. As I thought would happen, my wife got custody of our two girls, which wasn’t very easy. Life goes on however, and here is how this situation is best handled.

Accept It

There are some legal grounds to appeal decisions in these situations but there really is little point, the decision very rarely gets reversed and things being dragged on for longer is not going to be good for anyone. In order to come to terms with this and for everyone’s sanity, the best thing to do is learn to accept the decision as quickly as possible.

Live by the Rules

It is very tempting to try and make tweaks and changes to what happens with the kids but I have always found it best to just stay within the rules that have been laid out by the authorities. I had a friend who kept their kid an extra day after verbally agreeing it with his ex-wife, she later denied it and they got into all sorts of trouble, so I’ve learned that this is not worth doing at all, stick to the rules and you’ll be just fine.

Keep Everyone Involved 

If any changes are made, mutually or otherwise, then it always makes sense to keep a written record of what has happened and keep the authorities involved. What I have found to be the best practice here is overdoing it when it comes to offering up information, every day change, every vacation, whatever it is, let it be heard. In doing this you can be sure to protect yourself, as you never know what the future may hold.

Children Aren’t Pawns

No matter what your feelings are towards your ex-partner, you should never air them in front of you kids. Something else which you should never do is use your kids as pawns in the battle of chess that you may be having with your ex. Children never want their parents to split up and you have to remember that they are the victims in all of this. Children need as much normality as possible, you shouldn’t try to win them over with treats and money, nor should you try to compete with your ex when it comes to spending quality time with the kids. Be a good parent and treat your kids just as you would if they were still at home with both parents.

Trust me that things will get better, you just need to stay strong.

Joseph Freeman
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