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Undoing the damage I have caused

This post has been sitting tucked away in my brain for some time now. Perhaps you can call it out of sight, out of mind. You might even call it denial. I have been slowly suffering inside from guilt. I do the best job I can at being a great mother. So far, I have succeeded and my kids are happy, well-rounded individuals. I do have one secret though. I have over-mothered little William. What does that mean? Well I have ruined this child by doing WAY too much for him. I do EVERYTHING for him. It's such a shame. He is a very well-mannered and sweet child but there is one problem... He can't do a lot for himself because I have him conditioned to me doing it for him.

I am feeling so much anxiety as I type this post. I am so embarrassed by how much the average 2 year old can do for themselves and how pampered my boy is. I don't even make him pull his own underwear up. It has finally hit me that I need to get William in a more independent mode if he is going to start kindergarten in Fall 2013. I never thought I would spoil a child like I have with this last one. I am too ashamed to tell you the extent of how bad it is.

Thankfully I have been able to recognize what I am doing wrong and have made a vow to make it right.

Have you ever encountered this type of situation raising your children? 

Shelly, Mom Files


  1. I have been told that I "baby" my 12 year old as in checking up on him to make sure he's doing what he's supposed to. I just call that being a good mom. With my daughter, I have to do everything for her at this point so I'm not sure how that will go later. lol You can't help it sometimes. But I would try to make him more independent before school definitely. Teachers will be very appreciative of that.

  2. I "baby" Presley too, its just easier to baby your "baby". I get that she is almost 3 and gets away with murder, but she is just to damn cute!
    I am going to follow your lead and stop doing so much for her as well, this is my wake up call!

  3. LaVeda Green2/09/2012 7:39 PM

    This is my first post to your blog and I'm too embarassed to admit I am that chick that reads and appreciates others post but never finds the time. I was compelled to assure you that you are not the only one. My son Isaiah is the youngest and I was very nervous about him starting the 3 year old program because he was a definitely the child that I did everything for because he was number 4 and I knew he was the last. From my experience, Isaiah was taught from day one- In school-that he was expected to be independent inl and the teachers were prepared for this because I'm sure it's pretty normal adjustment. I won't admit the things I still do for my 5 year old about to be 6, but please know that it borderline and certainly something that he and other 5 year olds could do for themselves.I truly believe in loving your children and mothering is one of those luxuries that will be gone in a blink of an eye. You are building an emotional foundation that my mommy will be there for me. At least that's what I believe:)

  4. Your son is blessed to have loving parents who nurture him, at every cost. I believe it's the way love is to be shown to children, especially at such an early age.

    But I do understand where you're coming from when you speak of perhaps pampering him too much.

  5. Omg, i baby the boys too! Chase is three and can't get himself dressed or undressed either, and many other things, because I do them for him too! LOL!! It's so hard not to do those things, but i guess we do need to give them more independence, huh?!


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