Quit Rubbing Your Low Self-Esteem Off On Your Daughters

I have some things on my mind that I really feel the need to share. I have come to realize that I would be sorely disappointed if I met many of my online friends in person. Why? Because I know you won't look like who you look like on Facebook or Instagram. You know, the filtered or airbrushed version of yourself. I confess, when I first got Instagram I was most excited about having access to photo filters. I thought it was so cool when other women would post their super polished pics and wanted in on it too. I don't take selfies, but one day I took a photo of myself for a brand-related post and viewed my face in a variety of filters-- Valencia, Mayfair, Rise and more. I even added in a little tilt shift to soften the photo up even more. And then it hit me..... What am I doing? I look like some flawless Barbie doll or a wannabe Kardashian. I couldn't go through with posting a photo that wasn't authentically ME. Do filters enhance photos? Yes, they do. The problem I have is that my daughters follow me on social media and obviously know what I truly look like. What am I teaching them? It breaks my heart if I see them use a filter and I beg them not to. I make it a point to remind them how naturally pretty they are and that filters or airbrushing is never needed.

Some of you may have little daughters and think that they aren't paying attention to what you're doing. Trust me, they are! What you say and do has so much to do with how your kids will ultimately feel about themselves. When I was growing up, I watched my mother do whatever it took to fit in or to look better. Her bathroom was filled every beauty product that was available. Let me tell you, I grew up well into my 30's thinking I wasn't pretty enough. I too collected make-up and beauty products galore to make myself look better. Guess what? None of that stuff works! Until I fully accepted my flaws and imperfections, I was able to find the real me. It turns out that I am not half bad, dare I say that I am beautiful! I am 42. I have stretch marks, age spots, gray hair, bags under my eyes and probably more. None of that stuff bothers me any more. I refuse to airbrush myself. I refuse to let social media make me feel like fewer flaws means more likes or followers. I am who I am, and I am beautifully ME.

I urge you to post photos of yourself without any edits. Show your freckles. Show your grays. Show your authentic self. That is the person I'd love to meet- The real you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for reading.

Being fake can get you more likes. Say what?

Today I checked the mailbox like usual and the only thing that came was the latest copy of Seventeen magazine. I subscribe to it for my daughters because I had to use up some My Coke Reward points and figured they may like it. I know growing up, I adored Seventeen magazine along with other teen-geared publications. I mean, what girl wouldn't want to look at the latest fashion trends, make-up tips and cute boys? I glanced at the top of the magazine and it caught my eye. It read, "Pretty Selfie Secrets, Beauty tips that will get you "likes". 

 

I was really bothered by that. Why do you need selfie secrets and why does it matter how many "likes" you get? If you are a teenager, chances are that "likes" equal popularity. I just had to see what Seventeen magazine was selling our teenage girls. I saw the "Fake perfect skin" part. It gave advice on what products to use on your face to make yourself appear to have perfect skin. What on earth? Why would anybody want to give the illusion that they have perfect skin when people that know you in real life know about any imperfections you may have? The article gives more tips about make-up tricks to make you look selfie ready. 

I really thought it was sad. It tells girls that they can't be pretty as is or with minimal make-up. It sells the idea that making yourself look flawless will make people like you more (get likes). I immediately discussed this with my daughters and they were both disturbed by it all. I do my best as a mother to set a good example to my girls about being loving yourself including your flaws. Also, too many selfies make you look like a narcissist. You have to really feel badly inside if you slather on a ton of make-up and post photos of yourself fishing for media likes. And we wonder why our girls have such low self-esteem. SMH. I just had to share this.

Leonisa Shapewear Review

Do you have that one top or dress you love so much, but you hate the way it fits? Being a mom of three kids, I have a little extra "fluff" in my mid-section and it bothers me when it shows through my clothing. I tend to have to layer tops to mask my tummy. I was delighted to have to opportunity to review the Leonisa Celebrity Back Support Control Tank.

(Image from Leonisa.com)

I won't pretend and say I was not nervous or skeptical about trying the control tank. The idea of compression made me freak out just a tad. I tried it on and had a bit of a struggle to pull it over my breast area since I have a wide rib cage and shoulders. Once I got it all on the way on I was completely blown away by how flat my tummy appeared. Here is what it looked like on me: 

I can't believe how much the control tank minimized my overflow. I pulled my top over and was so pleased to see NO mini muffin top! No lie, I had to stare in the mirror for a while. It really works!! 

I can now confidently wear certain tops and dresses that I normally avoid. I will mention that I opted to not use the strap across the breast area. I wasn't crazy about how it made made my boobs look since I have wide shoulders. I am happy with the open feeling on top though. This Leonisa Celebrity Back Support Control Tank comes in beige (sizes S,M,L,XL and XXL) for $50. It is worth every penny in my opinion since it worked so well for me. 

The second item I reviewed was the BKS Fabulous Lace Hip Hugger Panty. This gorgeous panty comes in 7 colors. I picked the purple one. 

(Image from Leonisa.com)

They fit like they were made for me! I really love how nicely it smoothed out my lower tummy and accentuated my rear. They are very sexy and practical at the same time. They come in sizes S, M, L, XL and XXL and are $20 each. I definitely want the pink and black ones! 

I am so pleased with my items from Leonisa and highly recommend them. They are a great addition to my intimate apparel collection. Check Leonisa out on the web, Facebook and Twitter. 

I received items at no cost in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are 100% mine. No compensation was received.

Join the Dove® "Let's Talk" movement to help build strong girls with high self-esteem

You might remember a post I wrote earlier this month about Dove's Self-Esteem weekend. Well the movement has grown and it has a lot of people talking. Dove® is committed to inspiring all women and girls to reach their full potential. The Dove® Movement for Self-Esteem invites all women to join them in creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety.They have reached more than 9 million girls so far and with your help, they can  reach their target of 15 million by 2015.



Dove® research shows that it is still important for us to address girls' anxiety about looks, as there is a universal increase in beauty pressure and a decrease in girls' confidence as they grow older. Key findings from our latest research include:

• Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
• Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic
SOURCE: Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited


It really boils down to the fact that it is so hard growing up in a society where beauty is heavily focused on. Being a mom of two teenage girls, I know how important it is to keep good communication going about their self-esteem. Talking to your Anxiety about beauty begins at an early age, and can even keep girls from doing what they love. You can change that with a conversation. Reach out to the girl in your life and talk to her about beauty, confidence and self-esteem.

You can find the expert tips and real-world advice to get started on the Self-Esteem Wall. Then, once you’ve had “the talk,” share your experience to help inspire other moms and mentors. You can share a sentence, small story, or upload your favorite photo of you and the young girl in your life from your desktop, Facebook or Instagram.

Any time is a good time to start a conversation with a girl in your life about beauty, confidence and self-esteem. Not sure where to start? Download The Let’s Talk Toolkit to get some great advice.

to get some great advice.

Each time you buy Dove®, you help them and their charitable partners provide inspiring self-esteem programming for girls. Dove supports partnerships with after-school programs, self-esteem building events and education resources.
I encourage you to check out Dove on Facebook to get more information of what you can do to help build strong self-esteem in our young girls. Together, we can build stronger girls, stronger women and stronger communities.

Thanks to Dove for sponsoring today's discussion

How times have changed when it comes to undergarments

I was chatting with my friend Krystel from ArmyWife101 the other day and we were discussing bras and undergarments for teens. We had both recently taken our teenage daughters to shop for new undergarments and were astonished by the choices. It seems like the bras of today are made for the bedroom (and I'm not talking pajamas) more than for the function it is intended for. We searched through bra after bra and it seemed like every single one was overstuffed with padding to make your breasts appear two sizes larger. Now my daughters are small just like me, but why on earth do they need a bra to make them look like they are a C? It's as if our daughters are not supposed to feel good about what they have and give the illusion that they are busty. I just don't get it. I was so tiny when I was a teenager that I literally wore a negative size. I didn't really wear push-up bras because there was nothing to push up! Now I understand that girls today are a little curvier than before but why do they need their boobs pushed up to their chin and add two more sizes? I have seem so many teens wearing bras that cause spillage and that is not cute!

I feel like it is a disservice to our daughters to purchase bras like this to make their breasts appear fuller than they are. I think it is the wrong way to go about teaching and encouraging high self-esteem. I do let my daughters have a say what they like when we are shopping for undergarments, but I do also put in my two cents. I used to be one of those very insecure girls growing up and even well into my adult years, thinking my breasts weren't big enough. I have learned to be happy with what I was born with and know that my beauty truly comes from within. Everything else is just a bonus. I really believe moms need to be involved in teaching our daughters about wearing the appropriate undergarments. This goes beyond the training bra years!  Don't even get me started on the underwear showing at the top of the super low jeans. I know I sound old-fashioned (because I am) but maybe we need more old-fashioned today!

What are your thoughts?

Dove’s Self- Esteem weekend is October 5th-7th | Let's do our part to help young girls build strong self-esteem #spon

Did you know that 6 out of 10 girls stop doing what they love because they feel bad about their looks?


 


I can certainly believe this from my own experiences. I remember for most of my childhood, I was ashamed to wear certain clothes or participate in sports because I was so thin. I was often made fun of and spent many nights crying myself to sleep. Most people think only overweight girls go through feelings of shame but it turns out that underweight girls feel just as much pain. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I was so "skinny" and thankfully feel good about myself. With two teenage daughters, I work extra hard on helping them feel good about themselves.

Dove® research shows that it is still important for us to address girls' anxiety about looks, as there is a universal increase in beauty pressure and a decrease in girls' confidence as they grow older. Key findings from our latest research include:

 • Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
 • Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
 • 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful • 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
 • More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic

 SOURCE: Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited

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Join women across the county, October 5-7, when Dove will be holding a nationwide rally to talk about beauty, confidence and self-esteem. Commit to talk to the girl in your life during the weekend and beyond – it all starts with a conversation. If you can’t share over the weekend, any time is a good time to start the conversation.

Not sure where to start? Download the Let’s Talk Toolkit  Created with Jess Weiner, Dove Global Self-Esteem Ambassador, this is a great resource for all women on starting a conversation in a simple way. Ask, Share, Listen and Act -- you’ll find unintimidating ways to do make these a natural part of your talk about Self-Esteem.

You can share your commitment to girls’ self-esteem with your friends on Facebook! Visit the Dove Facebook Page or use the Send a Note of Confidence Link to select your message and share with your friends. Also follow Dove on Twitter and use the hashtag #DoveInspired.

With so many simple ways to get involved, won't you do your part to help build strong self-esteem in our girls?

This article is sponsored by Dove. 

Brie's braces

Let me tell you something~ Teenage girls are the WORST beings on earth to photograph. No photo is pleasing to them. Then again I feel the same way about myself. Okay, well here is the updated photo of Brie with her braces. She continues to do well and I am so mesmerized by how quickly her teeth are shifting! I'm not sure if this is all in my mind but it seems as if her confidence has boosted a bit since getting the braces. I am also in such disbelief at how mature my baby girl is getting. She goes to high school next year :( I guess at least she will have straight teeth before junior year. She's so excited!

New Braces!

Finally, Brie got her braces! She has had them on for about 4 days now and is doing really well. I think the key is to not let other people's 'stories' influence you too much and make it a negative experience. I think it was way easier than we expected but we have a long 3 years and some oral surgery to go. She is already planning the colors of the little bands for the next 3 months and seems to like having them. I am impressed with all of the extra time she is taking to keep her braces and teeth extra clean. Thankfully she has accepted the fact that she has to give up a few of her favorite snacks and foods. She is still able to eat fairly well so let's hope it stays this way!

I will try to post a photo each month to show the progress her teeth will make.

Quick update...

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted. I have been living in the moment with the family being home so the computer has not been a priority. I took Brie to see an orthodontist yesterday for a consultation about getting braces. The doctor said she will have to wear them for 3 years because she has some interesting things going on with her chompers. One thing she has done for years is chew her tongue. How she does that and enjoys it is beyond me but it is her source of comfort since I took the pacifier away from her when she was 3 months old. She also chews when she is excited or concentrating. William is trending to be in the same boat as Brie since he is also a tongue chewer. Well Brie will be getting her braces on Thursday and she is so excited. There will be some oral surgery she will have to get in a few months that will help correct a tooth that is growing where it shouldn't. She will be going through a lot for the next few years but I am so sure it will be worth it when she has the awesome smile she will be so proud of. We are all so happy for her. Oh, they are going to cost a fortune. Seriously we could buy a car with that kind of money. She is worth it though :)

Does anyone have any advice for someone getting braces?