Random Thoughts on Ageism, Insulting Women, and How Social Media Plays a Role

I remember for many years thinking that men were the ultimate enemy against women and their self-esteem. That is how it was pushed and publicized for ages. Many people might still think this is the case, but I surely have changed my mind. It turns out that the ones who seem so against the choices women make are in fact, other women, especially the younger ones. If you're thinking I am talking nonsense, it's okay. These are my thoughts, and I have decided to share them. 

If you frequent apps like TikTok, X or Instagram, you will see posts from people with every taste, from every walk of life, and with so many differing opinions on anything and EVERYthing. I am noticing so much more lately that a lot of women who are age 50+ post videos responding to negative comments that were left on a previous post. I am the type of woman  who isn’t doing all of that. I simply block the person who was behaving ugly, and delete their comment. You can’t allow yourself to be hurt over some random person on the internet saying something about you that you didn’t like. Believe me, you will get past it and life will go on. 

However, these newer “influencers” aren’t having it. They are clapping back and calling folks out. What gets me is that these are often gorgeous women with a huge following, and seemingly living a really nice life. They are speaking out when a follower tells them they are too old to wear something or to behave in a certain way. I saw a TikTok yesterday of a beautiful woman who I believe is a makeup artist with gorgeous gray hair and artfully done makeup. She was responding to a younger woman who commented that she was too old for pigtails. The TikTokker proceeded to style her long locks with pigtails on both sides, and let me tell you something, she looked damn good! 

That was her response, and I was internally applauding her for doing what made her feel pretty and happy. After all, the goal for any person is to be happy and feel good about themselves. Once you have that, you can succeed in every area of your life. 

Another TikTok I recently viewed was of a stunning beauty in her late 60s wearing a sporty sweatsuit. She was being harassed that she was too old to wear that. I was shocked! What does age have to do with a cute sweatshirt and matching jogger pants? It seems like no matter what women over 50 choose to wear for THEMSELVES, there is always some young female troll telling her she shouldn't wear it. 

So the next time you find yourself thinking that a 50+-something woman shouldn’t be wearing crop tops, short skirts, bikinis, or doing what doesn’t suit your taste, please STOP IT. Leave women to be who they are. The world is already harder on a woman’s appearance, so please keep your negative thoughts to yourself. Thanks for stopping by today! 

Trying To Adjust To Seeing Things Differently

For as long as I can remember, I have had excellent vision. I was the type of person to find the tiniest details in photos, artwork, or in any real-life scenery. People would always be amazed and say things like, "How on earth are you able to see that?" Fast forward to my middle 40s. Things aren't quite as crystal clear as they used to be. I have experienced more stress, anxiety, and depression in the last few years than I felt like I could handle. It was as if I cried and stressed the days away for 3 years straight. It was affecting my life in many ways.

One thing I noticed was that I had trouble seeing clearly when I was on the computer, phone or reading a magazine. I could barely see the menu when we were dining out in a restaurant. I spoke with my doctor and she suggested that I get some reading glasses. I bought some from my pharmacy and saw instant results. I could see clearly again! Reading glasses did the trick, and I could put them on and take them off as needed. This seemed easy enough. I did this for a little over a year and things changed again. I started getting headaches out of the blue and felt so much tension in my neck and shoulders.

I knew something wasn't right, and finally made an appointment for an eye exam. As soon as I walked into the building, I was overwhelmed. The friendly staff member directed me over to fill out the paperwork and select frames for eyeglasses. This was so different for me since it was the first time knowing that I was going to need glasses. The appointment itself was eye-opening. I had no idea how my vision declined as much as it did over the past couple of years. When the doctor switched different lenses to see if I was able to see clearly, it hit me-- my vision was terrible. It turned out that I had been compensating for what I wasn't seeing clearly or seeing at all.

The doctor then casually tells me, "I'm going to get you squared away so I'm writing you a prescription for bifocals." I was gut-punched because I really didn't know it was that bad. I took some deep breaths and sat with the specialist to get measurements done and make the selections that would be most beneficial to me. I was gut-punched once more when I got the final bill. YIKES! My husband was with me and calmed me down by telling me that I take care of everyone else, and it was time for me to take care of myself. I was told that my glasses would take approximately 2 weeks to be made and delivered.

For the next two weeks, I ended in so much pain from eye strain that led to neck and shoulder tension. I was a mess! I felt like I had to take 3 naps a day which is so not me. I'm thankful for my family who pitches in when I am down. They helped me a whole lot, especially the little one since he is with me all day long. I was super nervous when the call came in that my glasses were ready to be picked up. I sat at the counter with the salesperson and tried my glasses and sunglasses on. As soon as I placed the glasses on my face I felt really weird. I was like wait, I can't see properly. They told me because they are progressive lenses and I will have to get used to them.

As I left the building, I placed my pricey prescription sunglasses on and was hit with vibrant views. Everything around me was extra bright and colorful. I was seeing as clearly as I could when I was a teenager. I almost cried because I didn't realize how much I have been missing out on seeing. The eyeglasses have been more difficult to adjust to since I have to wear them all day long. I can't quite figure out how to tilt my head to be able to see up close. Even being on the computer has been difficult. I am still feeling a bit of fatigue, dizziness, and headaches, but they are supposed to clear up in the next week or so. I almost wanted to simply not wear them at all.

For now, I am thankful to be able to see details, vibrant colors, and having overall clarity. It will take time to adjust to wearing glasses, especially with different strengths for distance and close-up vision. I am going to be patient and know that I will be feeling like myself again soon enough. I'm sharing this post today for anyone who might be struggling with their vision and might not even know they are. Do not put off getting an eye exam! We aren't getting any younger.

If you have any advice for me, I'm open to it. Thank you so much for stopping by today.

My Life, My Hair

Most days as I browse Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest, I notice a very popular hair trend. It seems like rainbow, unicorn, and cotton candy colors are the big thing for girls and women of all ages. Believe it or not, I'm nearing 45 years of age and have never once dyed my hair. I started getting a few grays in my late teens. Those gray hairs have since multiplied, and are starting to spring up all over.

I really love my natural color and don't ever want to change it. Most people don't really notice the grays unless my hair is pulled back or I mention it. Most of the silver seems to be tucked underneath my black hair. Let me tell you though, when I go into the dressing room in a department store those silver strands stand out under those bright lights. I see every last gray hair and I get a little self-conscious. It's stupid for me to even feel that way. I am middle-aged, and getting older is a part of life. I have always said that I would not dye my hair, but sometimes feel like I'm not quite ready to be a gray-haired woman.

I have been following a few accounts on Instagram of some beautiful women who fully love and embrace their silver locks. I use it as motivation for myself. For now I will continue to just be. My hair color does not define the person I am. Are you going through this by chance? Let me know!

Thanks for stopping by xoxo