I would love to punch some people on HGTV

I just wanted to share some random thoughts that come to mind while I'm watching my favorite shows on HGTV...

• I really can't stand when they show a married couple reenact their morning routine in a small bathroom. Do people really brush their hair or teeth at the same exact time each morning and bump into each other like that? We don't. Our master bathroom in my home is smaller than some bathrooms in hotels, but we never complain.
• Couples that can't agree on colors, finishes or anything for that matter. They have heated on-air arguments and someone ends up in fake tears. 
• When they have over-the-top expectations for an itty bitty budget. 
• When people have a budget of over a million dollars and end up buying a 1,200 square foot home. 
• Why do the men have to get inside the tub? I would be so embarrassed if my husband did something like that on camera. Sadly, he probably would.
• I do LOVE when the host shows a house that has everything a couple is looking for-- all custom features, open and over-sized spaces, gourmet kitchen, dream back yard and everything else only to burst their bubble when the sales price is revealed. It ends up being like $400K over budget, Hehehe!
• There is always going to be that one woman who freaks out because there's a dead bug on the ground. C'mon man, it's DEAD! 
•  People and the whole "open floor plan" thing. I don't really get it. When I'm in the kitchen cooking, I don't want to be bothered. I don't need to see my family or guests while I'm in there. It's my "me time" and I don't need anyone talking to me during that time. 

10 Trends that need to be left in 2013

There are so many things that have been abused in 2013 that I really think should stay in 2013.

1. Wearing leggings as pants. I won't go into details with this one. I'm over it. 
2. Inserting the word "really" too many times in conversation. It is the most overused word of 2013. PLEASE stop it. 
3. Women and teenage girls and their 1,238,749,739 selfies All. Day. Long. We know what you look like. Obviously you love yourself. Narcissistic much?  
4. The mustache trend started a few years ago and I would love to see it go away for good. 
5. Over-sharing on social media. When you have to post the events of your life from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep, you have a problem! 
6. Duck lips. I know it's nothing new. 
7. Re-posting videos that exploit children. I don't need to see any toddler in a diaper nasty dancing. It's not cute! 
8. The phrase "turn up" can die.
9. Bitstrips. It was so cute for the first week. Very cute. Then all the people of the world jumped on the Bitstrips bandwagon. 
10. Instagram followers that sell "skinny wraps". No thank you. *block*

Please add anything you want to see gone before we head into 2014. 

Vollyeball, elections and cupcakes

I have to apologize for my lack of personal posts. My life has been consumed with obligations but most importantly, my family. The girls just finished up their volleyball season which allows me to have a little more free time. It was bittersweet for both girls. They did not win very many games but did play exceptionally well compared to the previous years. Chardie is an emotional wreck because her high school volleyball years are officially behind her. She wanted it all to be over, yet she will miss it. Brie had a hard time losing so many of their games but felt great winning the last game against their old coach. It was such a sweet victory for them. I have to say that Brie played amazingly all season long. She has so much talent and it was so cool seeing the two girls play together.

It is crazy that they girls are 16 and 18 now. Brie has outgrown all of us in height and is so mature. My baby girl has grown up and the next stop will be driving. She has not been very enthusiastic about driving like most teens would be, but she is ready now. It feels weird to say that I am mother to an adult child. The good thing is Chardie was in no rush to turn 18 and says she doesn't see what the big deal is. She will be voting in the election next month and is excited to do so. I still can't get over that! Speaking of election, I can't wait for it to be over! I know everyone has their views and opinions but social media makes you want to throw up with it in your face 24/7. I won't lie, I have had to unfollow and unfriend some people that got way too out of hand. Regardless of which way it goes there will continue to be unhappy people. I do have to say that this is the funniest thing I have seen all week!

I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself!

Another thing that happened recently that has nothing to do with anything is I purchased some new kitchen gadgets. I have been baking and cooking since before I was a teenager and have never owned cake decoration supplies or cupcake transporters. How on earth do you have children in school for over a decade and not have anything to carry your cupcakes in? I have baked hundreds of cupcakes over the years and can't remember how I was sending them to school. I also have been wondering why I have never had icing bags with the piping tips. I am now officially obsessed with making pretty cupcakes. I do need to play around with the different tips to learn how to make more designs. I made this gorgeous cupcakes recently to sell at the girls' Dig Pink volleyball game to raise money for breast cancer.

They were white cake with homemade cream cheese frosting that I tinted to make pink. Pretty, huh? Speaking of baking, I am so excited about all the baking that will be going on in my kitchen over the course of the next few months. I have already made a wish list of some things I want to have to make my baking experiences better. Can't wait!

What's going on with you?

Tips on battling boredom from a Veteran Mom

School is officially out for the Summer in our city and I think often to times when my kids would say, "I'm bored!" I have been mommin' it up for almost 18 years so I feel like I have a lot of experience dealing with these situations. I took it upon myself to make up a list of some very good tips on how parents can help their kids fight boredom this Summer. I can almost guarantee these will work!

When your kids tell you they are bored you can respond with:

• How about going outside and pulling some weeds from the garden and alongside the house? Why not increase the fun by mowing the lawn? Um, you mean like out in the sun? Where you sweat? 
• How about we go buy 10 Sunday newspapers and clip all the coupons so we can go out on and extreme couponing shopping adventure! They will quickly run away because they don't want to be humiliated pushing 6 carts through the store. 
• Would you like me to have your dad sit you down for one of his lectures? If your husband is like mine, he can talk 'em to tears!
• Go clean the baseboards, ceiling fans and kitchen cabinets. I think my kids would be rolling their eyes in their mind :)
• How about going to the dentist? You can get a cleaning and see what else they find that can be taken care of! If you told me this I would RUN! 
• Go bathe the dog and then blow dry him. Wet dog smell on a teenage girl? Not happening!
• Go read a book. They get all huffy because they felt like that's all they did when school was in session.
• Wanna help paint some rooms in the house? This starts off as fun and after a few swipes they usually start to whine. 

I have tested these out and they all worked the very first time. You can thank me later! ;-)

Is my what nasty?

The other day my son was doing something that really annoys me to no end that I think every member of the male species does... touching his 'man parts'. I told him I thought it was nasty what he was doing and he responds "Is your penis nasty too?". I told him that girls don't have a penis and that our private parts were different. I realized that we have not had the conversation yet about the differences between boys and girls. Being the active, typical boy William is he just sort of moved on to the next thing. My husband heard our brief conversation and starts to laugh at me. He says that maybe it was better I explain that to him since I might handle it better. MEN!

WTH? Wednesday

I just had to share one of my latest WTH moments. This happened yesterday as Dwayne and I were walking to the check-out area in Walmart. We see this older Indian couple walking toward us. The wife was looking at something on the aisle but the husband was looking over at us. He was staring with his mouth wide open. I know that look all too well since I have been seeing it for over 20 years. Any time Indian people see me with Dwayne they have a problem with seeing an Indian girl and a black man together. I tell you, I have only felt racism from my own people my whole life. I have always gotten those comments about marrying a black man. How sad!! Oh well, the funny part is just as the man was staring us down Dwayne stared back with that "gangsta" look. How about dude just put his eyes to the ground in shame! Bahahaha!!! I guess he got told!!!!!!!!!!

So what's your WTH moment of the week?

Romance in Whoville

The other night big daddy came into the bedroom and told me he wanted to give me a relaxing foot rub. I told him that he worked so hard that day so I would take a rain check. He insisted that he wanted to do it and that I better take it while it is being offered. So I graciously accepted his kind offer. My husband has his romantic moments and I thought this was one of them. He tells me to throw my feet across his lap so he can put some of that big daddy magic on me. He feels under the covers and realizes that I have socks on. I tried to reach over to pull them off and he insisted he would take them off. Suddenly I hear "WHAT THE HELL? Are you from Whoville or something? Dr. Seuss is missing some socks!" Oh my husband... He didn't have to say I had Whoville/Dr. Seuss socks. HAHAHAHA!!! That's your boy!

*The stripes are really blue and purple but the blue came out looking white on my camera from the flash.

Y'all better not be making fun of my socks either!

WTH? Wednesday

Seems like this cold weather blast has brought in a whole lot of WTH moments.

• I am going to start with teachers...Educators...Why in the world are some of them Tweeting and Facebooking during school hours? I know that the schools and probably just about every workplace has a very strict policy about the use of social networking sites. Then again most of them seem to be doing it on their BlackBerry. Funny how they like to talk about how bad the kids are and how they don't listen. Hmm....
  
• While on the subject about FBing and Tweeting from work...If you are going to do it, DO NOT complain about your boss or your co-workers. Not smart at all especially if someone rats you out.
• Why oh why must my son hand me "things" and say "thank you" in such a sweet voice. I won't even go into the "things" he gives me....YUCK!
  
• We put our old big screen TV on the side of the road with a sign on it that said "take me, does not work". Why the hell did people come up to our door to ask if the TV works? WTH! Seriously, would we put something like that on the side of the road if it was working? We would have been Craigslisting that bad boy!
• Why do people get in a long ass line at Walmart with a bunch of things that they do not know the price? Then they get up to the register and complain that the item costs too much. WTH! Do you not read the shelf label when you pick stuff up?
  

So now it's your turn to share your WTH moments in the comments...

WTH? Wednesday

I don't I have days anymore that something does not jump out at me and make me say WTH?!

~ So I watched last night's episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta to see what all the hype it about and all I kept saying was...um well let's pretend I was saying WTH?! I know a lot of you love that show but I just keep shaking my head. I will leave that one alone.
~ WTH is up with everyone putting their calls on speakerphone?
~ WTH is up with teenagers always taking pictures of themselves with their tongue sticking out to the side?
~ I ordered some 5x7 greeting cards the other day for the husband's business. How about the company sent me 4x6 envelopes. GRRRR!!!
~ I'm such a grumpy, mean mom this Halloween. I really don't care. There will be no candy. No rubber hand in the punch. No eyeball cupcakes. No tricks. No treats. The end.
~ I just sent off some blog related things in the mail yesterday and how about I receive my business cards TODAY. Nice huh?

OK, it's your turn. Share your WTH moments with us in the comments.

WTH? Wednesday

So it's Wednesday and as always there is so much that makes me say WTH?

• I want to kick it off with lateness<---my #1 pet peeve. It is so inconsiderate to always be late. Of course there are those few times that you might have a really good excuse but every day? Then you have folks that almost brag about being late--"Oh I'm always running late" WTH?
• Now I know you know several people who always have their cellphone attached to some part of their body. They have the internet, Facebook, Twitter, unlimited text...the works. Now how come when you call or text they want to boldly LIE and say they did not have their phone on them or they did not hear it ring. Really?
  
• If you are a grown man (especially over the age of 35) and you put as your relationship status--"in a relationship but it's complicated" you need to man the hell up! Grow a pair!
• WTH is up with adults doing a birthday countdown? What are we supposed to do? Throw a party, buy you a gift or build a monument in your name? Come on now, that's really tacky. Oh yeah and saying "happy birthday to me" is tacky too. #justsayin
• You know football season is in full swing when adults act like children and I'm not talking in a playful way. Just straight up stupid and childish over a sport.
  

Okay, I'm done. It's your turn to share your WTH moments in the comments!

WTH? Wednesday

Wow, so many WTH moments recently, where do I begin?

~ WTH is up with high school kids wearing Dora the Explorer and Yo Gabba Gabba backpacks that are preschool size? I have seen football players do this. WOW.
~ Also WTH is up with the school fundraisers? Remember when they used to sell candy bars? Ah the good ole days. Now they have to sell $25 cakes. Who in life is spending $25 on a cake living in a recession? Speaking of fundraisers...please, don't ask me to buy crap from your kids and I won't ask you to buy from mine. Deal? I think sometimes it's just better to stroke a check and be done.
~What's up with all the users out there? They sure know how to find your number to call or text when they need something don't they? Pulease. Don't even start that crap about "I was just thinking about you"
~ I really wish my little boy would stop being so darn cute when he gets in trouble. That smile is lethal. Makes me crazy.
~ WTH is up with people trying to sound intelligent but can't spell worth a lick? And on the spelling subject please take note that these are not words.... mkay, gud, wat, werd and I can go on for days. If you are an adult you really need to cut it out. Seriously.

Okay, I'm done for now. Please share your WTH moments in the comments...

Hi Yucky!

William is a very funny little guy. He has this new thing he says every time he gets into a shopping cart, stroller or high chair. He says "Hi Yucky!". I don't know what it is and he seems to be referring to the straps. When he gets out he says "Bye Yucky!". He is just too much!

Signs I'm in Dwayne's car...

Some of you ladies out there might have a *husband or boyfriend that takes a lot of pride in the appearance or maintenance of their cars. Sadly I have seen some men take better care of their car over their own children. Well I have a different kind of husband and here is a list of that reminds me I am in HIS car.

1. The seat is pulled all the way back and is reclined to the point that you can sleep in that position.
   
2. When I turn the key to start the car the radio comes on FULL blast and scares me senseless.
3. The gas tank is on "E".
4. The windshield has not been wiped in a long time. I am one of those women that can't stand to see even one spot on my windshield.
5. I find Sni....um, candy bar wrappers hidden in random spots. I can't say the brand before he gets on me. Yeah, he thinks he can sneak things he is not allowed to have and I won't find out.
   
6. Why in the world is there McDonald's (sorry honey) Monopoly pieces all over the place? Again, don't think I won't find out your secrets.
7. I see fingerprints on the windows. I don't do fingerprints.
   
8. There is a sticky spot in the steering wheel. Sneaking something you shouldn't have perhaps?
9. There is pollen from the spring season still on the dashboard.
   
10. There are 50 magazines and books on the seat. Oh and of course an overdue book on CD set from the library.
11. The floor mats look like animals live on them.

Does anyone have any similar stories like this?

*Sorry Dwayne, I love you still :)

Confessions, apologies and smack talk

I posted a couple years ago about your boy Dwayne and his new cellphone plastic. I even went as far as insulting him about it. Well today I am coming forward and admitting that I too have become a cellphone plastic person. I got a new phone a couple of weeks ago and since it is a touch screen I opted to keep the factory protective film on it. I am too frugal to pay $10 for the thing and have been trying to hold off for as long as I can. I went to slide my phone in my pocket yesterday so I could pull my laundry out the dryer and I immediately took it right back out so I would not forget it was there. Don't you know my doggone film peeled almost completely off?! I was so upset. All Dwayne could do was roll his eyes at me. So I am making a public apology to my dear hubby for talking so badly about his cellphone plastic. Sorry honey. We still friends?

On another note, because you know I can't just be nice to Dwayne and leave things where they are. You know how most of us have a library card to borrow books, CD's and DVD's? Well apparently my husband has a library card that is used as a rental card. Dude always has late fees and damn near pays for his stuff in the end. Oh and he likes to ask me if my library card is clean. WTH? He's not messing up my good credit at the library!!

Some things you may never hear

My blog buddy Sammy over at To Unravel is the King of random. Seriously, if you ever read his posts you would become completely immersed in his randomness. He wrote this one post entitled the Rootabaga line up and I put in my two cents. The point behind it all was listing 10 things you will NEVER hear. Some are from people, some are even from inanimate objects. Either way, I'm 99% sure you will never ever ever ever hear! So here we go, my 10 things are:

1. Wow, that Nikki Minaj is a true talent!
2. No problem random stranger, I will gladly change your baby's poopie diaper.
3. Pam Anderson's body and face look so natural!
4. I'd like to order one brussel sprout burger with a side of eggplant fries.
5. Can't wait for the price of gas to go up!
6. I wish the laundry would never end.
7. I want a parking ticket so badly.
   
8. Scraping wallpaper is so much fun!
9. Oh please let this tree fall on my house!
10. I'd prefer my Chinese food be prepared by Italians.

Play along if you wish!

Random things that make me smile

• when William calls me "Mum"
• when my laundry basket is empty (even though it is only for 5 minutes)
• when I catch William reading to himself.
  
• waking up thinking it is time to get up for the day and realizing it is only 1:00 am. YES!
• getting freebies in the mail.
• listening to my daughters chat amongst themselves. It's funny when one sister asks the other "Hey, do you want to play LIFE? You might actually get one that way".
  
• getting into my car and seeing that the husband filled my gas tank for me.
• asking William where his belly button is and he shows it to you and starts to laugh because he is tickling himself
  
• bargain shopping and paying very little for so much. Also when the cashier has to double check the screen to be sure he or she did not make a mistake because of my low balance.
• when my teenagers say "stop trying to be cool"... they make me laugh!
  

Flashback Friday/ How to impress your mate (re-post)

How To Impress A Woman:

Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

How to impress a man:

Show up naked ... Bring chicken wings and beer ... Don't block the TV and shut your mouth!

The Jimmy Hoffa drawers

If you have been a long-time Vent Day watcher then you will know exactly why I titled this post like I did. For those who have no clue these would be my junk drawers that Dwayne gets annoyed with. I say they are chock full of great little things that you might need some day. It beats having a big office downstairs filled with boxes of....well I don't know exactly. Tell me, don't we all have at least one drawer in our home that resembles this?

Halloween will be very different this year

How to tame a wild hubby

Pop this in the DVD player...

Sit one of these in front of him...

And offer up a few of these as needed and you are done!

This is a winning combination, you can't go wrong. The movie will keep him focused on the TV (as if it was possible to focus on anything else with the TV playing). The food will fill his gut and the beer will calm him down. Perfect. The end.